


The final breath

by SeikoxCleo



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 04:17:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6641137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeikoxCleo/pseuds/SeikoxCleo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey all! Thanks for reading :) . So, fun fact- this story actually has an alternate ending, a very happy alternate ending that I felt was so happy it was unrealistic, so I left you guys with this one instead. Cruel, I know :/ Lol, we're crying together though so it's okay! Please leave comments if you enjoyed the story :) Much appreciated!</p></blockquote>





	The final breath

Merlin's face hovered over Arthur's. His warm, shaky breath coming out strangled and messy as he tried to recall how to breathe properly, but he couldn't. He knew Arthur was dying, could feel it in his bones as he held Arthur to him, having no other choice or want after hearing Arthur's dying plea of "Just, just, hold me... Please." that shattered what was left of his spirit. He knew this moment would come, knew it for longer than was reasonably acceptable, but somehow he'd convinced himself to deny it, to continue life blindly, making futile attempts to redirect fate with his petty uses of magic, thinking that he won when he defeated the Saxons, staring down at Arthur with his molten golden eyes with a look of "I'm here. I made it. I've fulfilled our destiny." Now, holding him in his arms and hearing Arthur's waning breaths, he knew he'd failed miserably. His mind was a jumbled mess, thoughts disorganized and disoriented with chaos magnifying everything around him, yet making it all invisible somehow, unable to truly grasp, like a dream.

The World appeared as an illusion to him, and he couldn't grasp what was real or was not, only could feel the pulse of Arthur's blood slowing its course through him as it bought him back to the harshness of reality. His heart, he couldn't even explain the clenching pain choking him there, as if it was, too, holding it's breath for the moment that would surely shatter the Earth. Merlin couldn't breathe, a panic alarm setting off in the farthest part of his mind that he was surely suffocating, and with a twisted thought-he felt something like joy at the thought that he could slip away too, go far away into the unknown where his failures couldn't haunt him, where he wouldn't have to face the fact that he was the cause of Arthur's death. With his arms still clasped tightly around Arthur's firm waist, feeling the cold metal of his armor, his chest barely heaving in and out, his mind hit a dead end. "A-Arthur-" he couldn't even control how broken his voice came out, a sob fighting to escape him which made him bite down hard on his lip, barely noticing the taste of metallic blood on his tongue.

Before he could finish his bedraggled thoughts, Arthur's voice cut through the air, sharp- even in his last moments. "Merlin, there's something I want to say." He panned out with a thick voice, all of his strength going into the words, and Merlin couldn't take it- he couldn't let Arthur wane away in front of his eyes, wanting to preserve his life for however long he could, whichever way he possibly could.

"You're not going to say goodbye." Merlin huffed out, humorlessly, although his point of saying it was to be humorous, to try and reign back in everything that was unfolding in front of him- to try and convince himself that he wasn't losing the love of his life forever.

"No-no, Mer" Arthur struggled to finish the words, his fading blue eyes pleading with Merlin's, willing him to listen, to understand, "Everything you've done, for me-" his voice cracked on the words, but he continued speaking, "for Camelot, for the kingdom you helped me build-" he barely finished, and Merlin could feel every ounce of him draining out with each word he spoke, but Arthur's eyes told him that this was something he needed to say. Still, Merlin couldn't help but try and halt him, draw out his life for a few precious moments. "You'd have done it without me." he spoke, voice rough with exertion and exhaustion, with predetermined grief. Arthur's face... God... Arthur's face lit up at the words, his teeth spreading out in a smile that looked more like a grimace as pain coursed through him, along with the blood in his veins, and it made Merlin's heart clench terribly.

"Maybe." Arthur spoke, still holding Merlin's eyes, "I want to say- something- I've never said to you before." Merlin's choppy breath stopped short in his throat, his eyes gone sporadic as his heart sped up wildly in his chest. This is it- he thought- Arthur's going to say goodbye. Arthur shifted his body as much as he could, leaning into Merlin, forcing Merlin's eyes to lock with his, because he needed Merlin to feel everything he couldn't say, to read it in his eyes, to read between the lines. Neither of them were breathing really, the world gone still around them, even the sounds of the distant chattering birds ceased, only them, and eyes, and a faint crackling of something in the air. "I love you, Merlin." Arthur's eyes never moved from Merlin's, even as he spoke the words, and even after he spoke them, lifting his hand to grasp the back of Merlin's head, feeling for a remnant of him, just in case his last touch would be the only memory he'd have in the afterlife.

The corners of his mouth lifted slowly into a smile, holding onto this last moment with Merlin, drawing out the inevitable, but his soul began to sing freely, knowing now that Merlin knew what he'd been meaning to say for a long while, what they had both forgotten to say in the confusion of things. Merlin's eyes began to cloud over with tears, and Arthur's heart clenched with sadness as he angled his head upwards, hand lightly pulling Merlin's head to his, feeling his shuddering breath on his lips as they neared, until he felt the plush softness of Merlin's lips.

Merlin's body went pliant at first, and then tightened impossibly around Arthur, fists twisting the metal of armor sheltering him, feeling the gentleness of Arthur's lips on his, the soft graze of his nose against his cheek, as his last breath flowed into Merlin's, entwining itself with Merlin's, making them one. Tears spilled unbidden down Merlin's cheeks, lips parting with Arthur's when he felt them go still, when he felt the last breath Arthur took being released back into him, and he pressed his forehead to Arthur's.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! Thanks for reading :) . So, fun fact- this story actually has an alternate ending, a very happy alternate ending that I felt was so happy it was unrealistic, so I left you guys with this one instead. Cruel, I know :/ Lol, we're crying together though so it's okay! Please leave comments if you enjoyed the story :) Much appreciated!


End file.
